What I didn’t know was how I got here and how I got caught.
The smell of smoke filled my nostrils, but did little to disguise his awful body odour.
The sense of urgency in my voice captivated him as he stared at me.
I tried to smile but the tension in my bruised face denied me the pleasure.
I think I’m in a lot of trouble. The only thing is, I can’t remember how I got here.
There’s a lot of money in that case, Bear. And there are five people dead because of it.
As if I was a moving light in an otherwise darkened room.
Everyone had a look of sorrow on their face, a look of sympathy; everyone, except the boy.
How someone who had been so close to me had drifted so far away.
There it was: Calling to me: Calling me an idiot: Calling me a loser: Calling me the loser.
It was a collection of history, of memories, almost lost, but lost on me.
I had a window seat and a birds-eye view of nothing.
White and grey fluffy clouds lined the planet and hid any features of interest that lay below.
The clock read 6:26. Damn the way it mocked me.
A moment’s spectacle left residing almost unrecognizable in the gutter.
My arms were folded behind my head. Unable to focus on any detail in the ceiling, I stared into infinity.
Drinking coffee after eating and then having a refill was not conducive to aid sitting in a café staring out at a lifeless street.
My lonely room was adequate solace from the tedium of the streets.
I’m sorry to say this, Maria, but you have bad taste in men.
The gun was cold. It was heavy too, much heavier than I had imagined.
As the mechanism of the lock turned, a bead of sweat ran down my brow and into my right eye.
I felt nervous with discomfort and trembled as I took a deep breath.
His limited vocabulary of obscenities only antagonised the situation and increased the fear I was feeling.
I could not remember such fear. And then I remembered the gun.
A slim column of smoke rose from the gun which was still held where it had been.
With every step I took towards him, he dragged himself further away from me.
A wisp of smoke ascended to form a shroud of flesh pink and saffron as it consumed the colours emanating from the screen.
The muscles pulsed as they contracted, stretching the sinews that joined them to the exposed bone.
The gun felt natural in my hand. It was solid. It was warm. It had become part of me.
I looked hard at those beautiful eyes of hers. As I did so, I watched her left eye begin to haemorrhage.
I was not afraid. I had been afraid my entire life. I felt a power, a new intoxicating power.
For the first time in my life, I felt in control of my destiny.
My mind filled with the most bizarre combination of images, some sexual, some gruesome, some gory.
I found the images overwhelming, intensely so. I was under the influence of my thoughts, aroused to a point I could not control anymore.
There was Julie. She was facing me. She was naked. There were fireworks behind her.
I felt alive! For the first time in my life… I FELT ALIVE!
It had started as an alcohol fuelled night and concluded as energetically as any night had ever ended.
They toyed with me, mocking my accent. And I loved it!
How can I think that freshly squeezed orange juice tastes more acidic than juice that’s not freshly squeezed when I have no idea what acid actually tastes like.
I did so without thinking of any consequence, without a thought that a note of this kind could raise any suspicion.
There was a strange combination of passions in the room.
There was a victorious freedom in the air.
There was a vulnerability that this threesome had exposed, some deep, hidden baggage weighing heavily on her soul.
There was no schedule, no agenda. We filled the bed like a blissful octopus.
The lights flashed in a cacophony of colour that was visible even through my tightly-closed, burning eyes.
The clock made no sound as the night-time ticked away.
My eyelids would close as I drifted into a world of memory and fantasy.
We were lost in time, lost in each other’s arms, lost in each other’s kisses.
It was a legendary drive that would have been spoiled by putting the roof up.
I turned to the voice and with an intense blow to my face, the lights from the car disappeared into the void of blackness…
And there I was, standing, all alone in the darkness, in the void.
I watched as she exploded into a million tiny stars of light.
Darkness had returned to this strange, unearthly place.
She wiped my face as we whispered to each other, her soft hand trembling against my skin.
We staggered in front of the car. The headlights made the sky appear starless.
The only other source of light was the moon, which shone proudly in this desolate place.
It didn’t hurt though. Not even a sting as it entered my wound and swam with my blood.
But, I was where I wanted to be. I was away from the headlights. I was in the dusty dark beyond.
His rage was silenced with a loud bang. It was the bang of a gunshot, but not his.
All the pain in all the world could not hold me back.
The gun just clicked, as lifeless as the corpse beneath me.
Using the rims from the car wheels, we quietly and solemnly dug shallow graves.
She approached me open arms. I pushed her backwards with open hands.
Hearing my words, she buried her face in her hands and muted her own scream.
I felt sorry for her and at the same time I hated her.
The room began to spin as hatred filled every cell in my body.
A lone tear ran across my bruised cheek and dripped off my chin onto the torn and bloody t-shirt below.
And across my face, an imaginary smile was forming and getting bigger all the time.
Andrews held his hand up. Not quite a wave, but definitely a goodbye.
Excited, the invisible smile returned to my face. It surely stretched from ear to ear.
And then, as if by magic, as if the entire universe had some ridiculous grand design for me all along
To the right – San Diego, to the left – Las Vegas, behind me – death